School Days
by supersoxfan5
Summary: AU Quinn/Puck story. At William McKinley Preparatory School, a scandal erupts from popular boy, Noah Puckerman, and new girl, Quinn Fabray. Please read and review!
1. The Intro

_**Note from the author: This is an AU fanfiction about Quinn and Puck. I wrote this sort of as a way to finally put a memory of mine into words. So yeah, it's fanfiction but it's also a bit non-fiction because this story is based off of my real life. Also, I'm posting this as a celebration of my graduation, which was today. Congratulations to all classes of 2011. Enjoy your summer and please enjoy this and review!**_

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><p>Quinn Fabray's the visitor and a top-notch private school in Pennsylvania. She's brilliant so her mother and step-father have decided to send her to the William McKinley Preparatory School for their "enhanced" curriculum. She's a bit nervous but the butterflies in her stomach begin to stop flapping their wings so hard when Mrs. Schmidt, the head of admissions, welcomes a boy into her office.<p>

McKinley has a "buddy" program, in which a student is assigned a visitor for the day. The buddy shows the student around and takes them to all their classes and sort of gives them a feel for what McKinley is like. As fate would have it, Quinn gets assigned Puck one beautiful May day.

Noah Puckerman is charming, funny, great at French, and a talented musician. He sports a white oxford, navy necktie with the school's logo on it, and a freshly ironed pair of khaki pants. He's in tenth grade and only 15, but that's because he's got a summer birthday. He'd just won the student council election held the week before for eleventh grade representative. He's basically a spokesmen for the school, seeing as he's quite smart and great with adults. He only goes by Puck because his family's converted from Judaism to Christianity and his friends insist that Noah is a Jewish name.

Puck's got the duty of showing her around for the day, which is great for him, considering it'll make his day a little less boring. First, he takes her to art class. They're learning shading. Puck's got a knack for art but his intelligence seems to be lowered by the dumb jock sitting at their table who just happens to be his best friend, Finn. Puck and Finn can't help but notice Quinn's, to put it their way, hot. She's petite, her eyes are a deep chocolate brown that anyone could get lost in, and her hair is strawberry blonde. According to her, it's usually blonde, but in the winter when the sun is gone, it looks somewhat red. [Pay attention to that fact. It's important later.]

Finn and Puck are the immature kind of boys who can't help but make a few dirty remarks in front of Quinn during art. Finn's in all of Puck's classes so the immaturity goes on throughout the day. At lunch, the boys are laughing their asses off at something not that funny when Finn jokingly says "Hey, don't be a douche to the visitor." Puck chuckles like he always does at Finn but he really hopes he's being polite because, man, this girl's gorgeous. Finn's only said what he said to distract her from the fact that they're both equally as immature. Finn's just a likeable guy so it's less noticeable. Neither can pinpoint a specific thing they like the most about her, but they just both know that if she decides to transfer, she should expect rapid-fire-flirting.

At the end of the day, the boys have basketball practice but before they go change in the locker room, Puck's got the duty of walking Quinn to the administrative office. "So you think you'll like it here?" He questions, looking down the empty hall as he walks. She smiles and replies that she probably will. After all, he's pretty cute and the school's so small that everyone is welcoming of new students. When they arrive at Mrs. Schmidt's office again, he gives her final goodbye for the day as well as a hello to her mother. When he leaves for basketball, his palms are sweaty but he ignores it, thinking it's only because it's so hot out. In that moment he thinks to himself that if Quinn does in fact come to WMPS, he'll probably just be another girl he and Finn flirt with constantly. He doesn't realize that he just fell in love.


	2. The Incident

"Hey, hey, guys. Back to the problem." A somewhat irritated Mr. Harris says pointing at the green chalk board with his pen. Mr. Harris is subbing long-term at WMPS due to the fact that the normal math teacher is on maternity leave for the rest of the year. The eleventh grade as a whole only consists of 28 students. They are split into A group and B group for science and math classes. Quinn is in B group, so that she adjust to McKinley steadily. Puck and Finn are in A group together and they're a recipe for disaster.

It's been almost a year since Puck and Quinn met and it's now clear to him that he cares deeply for her. Who Puck doesn't really care for is a short, Indian boy in his class named Deepak. Deepak is very arrogant and more importantly has eyes for Quinn. It's no secret and Puck constantly makes fun of Deepak for it. Unfortunately for Puck and Deepak, she's into Finn.

That specific day, everyone is having troubling focusing, including Mr. Harris. Finn and Puck sit on different sides of the room so they communicate through writing in large letters on loose leaf paper and holding it up behind a binder. The first facetious jab comes from Finn. In his sloppy handwriting the paper says "Puck's a retard." Of course, he has to respond so he comes back with "Finn's gay", which includes a stick-figure doodle Sam and Deepak kissing. Of course he's not gay, but Finn has to retaliate and so does Deepak.

By the end of the third period, there is a wrinkled and folded piece of loose leaf paper in Puck's left pocket. On it is a picture of a female stick figure with orange highlighter for hair, which is supposed to be Quinn, and a small male stick figure holding a slushee, which is supposed to be Deepak. The slushee pokes fun at Deepak for owning so many seven-elevens in the area and the orange hair is aimed at Quinn for her remarkable hair color that has been a target for the Puck, Finn, Karofsky, and Azimio in the past school year. Around the stick figures are comments about Deepak's race and more importantly, the fact that Quinn is Jewish and in some opinion's a "ginger." The drawing repetitively uses the phrase "ginger-jew" which has become a behind-the-back nickname for Quinn.

The image was first drawn by Puck as a jab at Deepak. He did use the phrase "ginger-jew" first, but it's only meant as a slight to Deepak for liking such a girl, to conceal the fact that he too is interested in her. He never means the awful phrase when he says it, but it gets a laugh every time. He uses the nickname one, but that one time is enough to fuel the anti-Quinn fire that Karofsky and Azimio throw gasoline on. He usually doesn't feel that bad but after the high of what the boys refer to as his "masterpiece", he drops and suddenly the guilt sets in.

He's had three periods in a row of not seeing her, but their lockers are right next to her and they're headed to art class. He sits at her table with her, but usually he yells across the room to Finn anyways. After dropping off their books, they walk empty handed to the art room. For some reason, they happen to be the last ones leaving the locker area. He takes his as an opportunity to confess what he's done and apologize, knowing that the constant ridicule over her hair color and faith do truly upset her.

"Hey Quinn, wait up!" He says in a louder voice than usual. They're both short but her stride is a bit longer so he jogs to catch up with her. "Can I talk to you about something?" Puck asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. He rubs the short buzz cut hair on his head nervously. "I need to tell you something." After that, he doesn't remember a word of that hallway conversation. He doesn't even show her the libelous portrait.

In the art room, they argue loudly but he doesn't seem to hear a word. All he sees is her anguish and the fact that he's screwed up. Big time. After noticing the loud conversation, Mrs. Lawrence, the art teacher, intervenes. When she asks what is going on, not that it involved her in any way, he shamefully mutters that "Me, Karofsky, Azimio, and Finn made a drawing making fun of Quinn." He adds in quickly "but we got rid of it."

She says nothing and just returns to demonstrating a painting technique to another student. So Puck returns from the paint shelf with supplies, hoping everything had just blown over. But this was only the beginning.

Quinn won't talk to him, and their mutual friends Mercedes and Brittany are both glaring at him. The three girls and one boy share a table in the art room, so the high tension creates a most awkward ambiance. Puck runs his hands through his thick black hair with frustration. The first time anyone at the table talks to him is when Mercedes tells him that he has a bit of green paint in the front of his spiked black hair. He quietly removes it and then after a long period of silence, they begin to talk.

Later on, the only word he remembers verbatim from their discussion are "but it's not all about popularity". Mercedes is right. Yes, Puck's on the football and basketball team, but he's not popular. Busting on Deepak and Quinn has made him popular among the guys for the day, but it's not enjoyable because he's just stepped on two people. Mercedes knows Puck all too well and she knows that he did it for the popularity.

At lunch, Finn, Puck, Azimio, and Karofsky sit with the cheerleaders as usual but today is very different. All four boys are terrified because Quinn's not at lunch. Rumor has it she's in the headmaster's office, telling on them. They never meant it to come to this and Puck is shattered inside. Finn is interested in Quinn, but only as a fling. Puck truly loves her and he's never felt more ashamed in his life.

Nervously, Puck approaches the table where Mercedes, Brittany, and Santana sit. There's an obvious empty seat. Quinn's seat. Before he can even utter a word, Santana spits hateful words his way in Quinn's defence. "Go the fuck away, Puckerman." He does so, but only because Santana is quite scary when she's angry and he's in a deep heap.

After lunch, Puck and Finn have history class together. Quinn is in their class and she sits diagonal from Puck. He scribbles a sincere and lengthy apology to her on a piece of notebook paper. As he rips it out, Brittany glares at him. He passes it to Quinn but she doesn't even bother to look at it. She simply gets up, and throws into the nearest trash can. He's heartbroken, but the pain turns to fear as his teacher receives a call from the office. Dr. Wilson, the headmaster, has requested his presence in her office. The walk to her office feels like the walk to the tip of a pirate ship plank.

Finn's already there with Karofsky and Azimio when he gets there. Finn's crying. The three blonde boys are then joined by the fourth culprit. The headmaster, the boys, and the assistant head of school are all in the room. The air is tense. Finn is close to tears, which later begin to roll down his cheeks.

After a long discussion, many things are admitted by Finn and Puck. Finn, being a very honest person in times of emergency, tells Dr. Wilson of the time he refused to make room at their table for Quinn, Mercedes, Brittany, and Santana. Puck, being the great friend that he is too Finn, vouches for him, saying "Dr. Wilson, Finn wasn't involved with this drawing. He was just teasing. And all of us were just joking." Of course, Puck is telling the truth but he later lies when he only admits to drawing the stick figures at a caption that says "drawn by Deepak" that was put there to avoid being found out. He doesn't reveal the he was the first to use Quinn's nickname and he completely understand the punishment of lunch detention the next day and having to write apology letters to both Deepak and Quinn. Dr. Wilson graciously agreed to not put the incident on their permanent records, as long as they did not have another similar incident again.

After their little trip to the headmaster's office, Puck and Finn go to English class. Normally Quinn sits next to Puck, but in light of today's events, she decides to switch seats with Brittany. Finn's still a bit stuffy from crying but Puck knows that Quinn will forgive him, considering she makes no attempt to hide her obvious feelings for him. So he sits there in anguish, hoping that the day will end as quickly as possible.

Of course, when he gets home, Puck's father is waiting for him in his bedroom. The young man hands the mail to his father awkwardly. Of course, the older of the two men asks him about the call he'd received about the incident, to which Puck replies that he got blamed but didn't actually do anything. This is a lie, but he's in denial. He's so ashamed that he simply can't admit to what he's done. Not verbally at least.

Using the old "I've got homework" excuse, he escapes to his room. He sits at the computer for at least two hours, just scrolling through meaningless webpages. He's almost as scared of his mother as he is of Dr. Wilson. He texts Finn, who replies that he got off easily at home. This gives Puck hope. He retells his lie from earlier and is let off the hook by his parents. But the same can't be said for his conscience.

At night, he lays in bed, in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He comes his hands through his thick black hair many times. It's sort of a habit for him when he's stressed. And trust me, he's beyond stressed. He's always been sort of witty and the type of guy to make fun of people, but he's never been this hardcore about it. He feels worthless. In his mind, he's begging for death. He can only imagine the tears that Quinn cried in Dr. Wilson's office. He can only imagine her having to recount the story to her mother, step-father, and biological father. Several different moments will stay in his head forever. Moments like Mrs. Waters, the assistant head of school, saying "well, you understand why she's cutting you off now, right?" when he told her about the thrown-away apology or when Brittany came up to him after lunch and told him to his face her true opinion.

"You are the lowest of the low." She'd said. Those words really cut like a knife. Not so much a knife, but a battle-axe or a machete. He didn't sleep well that night. He barely slept at all. He cried himself to sleep that night, imagining that Quinn was doing the same. There were only two things he wanted. One if he couldn't have the other. Quinn's forgiveness - or - death.

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><p><em><strong>Note from the author: Will Quinn forgive Puck? Will Puck get over her? Will Puck screw up again? Will the boys be mad at Puck for telling Quinn about the drawing? Add to your story alert to find out!<strong>_


	3. The Aftermath

**Following all of chapter two's drama, comes the aftermath. Please review and feel free to visit my profile and check out my other stories!**

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><p>All of the drama happens on a Wednesday, so all that's left for Puck is Thursday's lunch detention and getting through Friday. Then it's goodbye WMPS, hello Aruba.<p>

He climbs out of bed reluctantly that Thursday, groping for a reason to let his feet touch the floor. In the shower, he doesn't cry. It's too cliche. His heart is too heavy to cry where he expects himself to. More than reluctantly, he readies himself for school. Well, not really. He gets dressed and puts all his books from the previous night's homework into his messenger bag. There's no way in hell, Puck is ready to face all the angry looks, whispers, and tenth grade girls asking him "Why'd you do it?". It's all just too much.

Fortunately, he has a flat tire so he thinks of the possibility of not going to school. Unfortunately, the bus is just down the road so his mother makes him go. When he arrives, he steps on without a word. He sits there with his iPod, listening to Buckcherry's 'Sorry' on replay.

When he gets to school, the bus drops him and the other students off at the front door, where of course the headmaster's office is. Dr. Wilson doesn't appear to be there at the moment, but he still walks with his head down. As if that could change anything. He's now a social pariah. His eyes are bloodshot, his nose is stuffy, but his wrists are still intact. That's an accomplishment, right?

At lunch time, instead of going to cafeteria, he snatches his brown paper bag lunch and takes it down to the library with the other boys. Dr. Wilson, a stern look plastered on her face, issues them each two pieces of WMPS stationary and matching envelopes. They have to write apologies and then let her read them. He can't write what he really feels on the page because Quinn won't be the only one to see it. So he writes, to the other boys, what would seem like a decent apology. To him, it's the most half assed task, he's ever had the misfortune of completing. He can't even remember what he writes to Deepak and Quinn, but he does remember saying that it'll never happen again. That part he means. He means it with his whole heart.

As he expected, rumors begin to infest the school like termites. A rumor circulates that Quinn feels bad that she told Dr. Wilson about the picture. He feels slightly better upon hearing that, even though he's not sure if it's true or not. But then another rumor reaches him. People think the picture was pornographic - that he and the boys drew Quinn naked. "You wish, you stupid fuckers." He grumbles angrily. The day feels like a sludge hammer to the gut. It's awkward, angry, and just too much.

"God must hate me." He thinks to himself over and over again.

Suicidal thoughts and all, he makes it through the week. Sure, he doesn't speak for the rest of that Thursday or the entirety of Friday, but he makes it through. The only people he speaks to are teachers so that he can gather his homework and any notes he'll need for the next week while he's on vacation with his family.

Sunday morning, he boards a plane with his family and some family friends. They're going to Aruba. A rough week followed by a tropical paradise. He should be excited, right? Wrong. He's far too burdened.

While on the plane, he remembers how much Quinn likes The Super Mash Bros. and how she'd recommended him a specific song because it featured part of Eminem's 'Without Me'. While his uncle is asleep in the seat next to him, Puck writes an original song on the notes app on his iPod. He names it 'Without Me' as an homage to what was 'their' song/inside joke. Later, he deletes it, realizing the answer to his question 'How's your week been, without me?' in the chorus, is definitely a positive answer and/or something he doesn't want to hear. He's sure she hates him. Every WMPS kid does. Even he does.

His father is the CEO of a large chain of sporting good stores called "Champion Unlimited", so of course, the Puckermans have got a little extra cash to burn. They stay in a five star resort in Aruba, yet to Puck all he associates his room with is the alone time he has there - the time he uses to hate himself.

And sure, Puck's got attention deficit disorder, but when it comes time to check his email for chemistry notes his teacher promised to send, he simply can't concentrate. There isn't a thing in the world that could take Quinn off his burdened mind. When he closes his eyes every night, in futile attempts to fall asleep, all he can see is the beautiful girl who will never love him. His agony doesn't end.

He comes back from the island the following Monday, when student council speeches are to be read to the student body and then council members are appointed. Of course, he loses. His speech is great, but his image is not. Forever his image will be sullied for what he's done. He feels like John Edwards or Roman Polanski. Never again will people look at him the same way.

At field day, basically a day for the jocks to show off and the one day a year the cheerios are permitted to be out of uniform, Quinn is quite friendly to him. He's on the red team and she's on the white team, but it doesn't matter. He's smiling like an idiot and she's acting like she's beginning to forgive him. That night, he feels better.

But, of course, Quinn's a teenage girl. She changes her mind.

At graduation, the eleventh graders have to create a procession for the graduating class to walk through. She wears a light pink dress. The eleventh graders are arranged by height but a few girls have decided to ditch, so she ends up near him in the procession. He can't help but stare. She looks amazing. More than amazing. She looks radiant. That's not a word he knows, but it's how he feels.

While walking to his car, he yells a quick goodbye to her from across the parking lot. Maybe her car's in the shop or something, because she's opening the back door to her step-father's car. She says nothing to his polite goodbye and he could swear that he saw her mother shoot him a death glare or two.

He'll never feel the same. Puck spends the entire summer running, not to work out, but to try to run away from the thought of her. Of course, you can't run from your own guilt, so it does nothing. It only makes his lungs and legs stronger, but he's never felt weaker. Yeah, he'll rebuild his image next school year. He'll even be friends with Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina. He even becomes, dare I say it, acquaintances with Quinn. But he will always be more than remorseful and have a contrite heart, that beats faster every time he sees Quinn.


	4. The Senior Year

_**Ready for for chapter four of this giant mess? Here we go!**_

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><p>Senior year rolls around and of course, the only thing on Noah Puckerman's mind is Quinn Fabray. He's spent all summer, messaging her on facebook, texting, calling but hanging up before she answers the phone.<p>

Orientation day, a day for new students to meet the teachers, and returning students to find out what classes they're in and where their lockers are, ends at one o'clock. Hoping to avoid Quinn, Puck shows up at 12:30. He takes care of things and then dashes back to his car before Dr. Wilson can say hello and ask him how his summer was.

The first month of school are a blur. He doesn't remember them and he wouldn't want to if he could anyways. It's just a stupid month of meeting the new kids, receiving text books, and going over what you're going to go over that year. Pointless.

But then October rolls around and Puck happens to be on "Tables/Floors duty" with Kurt and Quinn. Kurt and Quinn each have brooms and are sweeping under the senior lunch tables and Puck is spraying the tables with cleaning solution and wiping. Kurt finishes much quicker than the others so he rushes off to hang out with his friends for the rest of the free period. Finally he's got a chance to talk to her. So he swallows all doubt, which slides down his gullet like glass, and approaches her, Clorox bottle and paper towels in hand.

He's not even within three feet of her but he can smell her perfume. That's not creepy, is it? He finally opens his mouth and says "Hey, Quinn. Can I ask you something?" She replies, "Depends on the question." Her body language and tone is just so...flirty. He can't take it. He's about to wet himself over how cute she looks. She smirks and bends over, still cleaning up crumbs left by her classmates. He can't help but catch a glimpse of her behind but then he remembers his main objective.

"I, uh, um, do you still like me?" She stops in her tracks upon hearing the question. She stands up straight, the broom and dustpan in her hands. "I don't know, well, ya know, what you did." She pauses. "It was all just kinda really harsh last year." He's satisfied with the answer because, hey it's October. _"I'll have so many more chances to change that 'I don't know' to a 'Yes' this year." _He thinks to himself.

At football, Finn is still the quarterback and Puck is still the fullback. Yeah, Puck is Finn's go-to receiver but the two don't talk much anymore, seeing as they're not in the same classes anymore. During practices, they don't talk to each other outside the huddle. They pal around with Karofsky and Azimio, but never alone. Their relationship deteriorates as it becomes more and more obvious that Quinn has feelings for Finn. Quinn's feelings for Finn aren't the only reason that the boys don't talk anymore though.

Every time Puck sees Finn, Karofsky, and Azimio, he feels torn. He can't find balance anymore. On one hand he finds himself being the bad guy in his situation with Quinn. On the other, he finds himself being the good guy for being the only one of the four boys to actually care. Puck is the only one of them who beats himself up over it. The only one who feels any sort of remorse. That fact makes him feel slightly better about himself when he's feeling the incredible urge to steal one of the many pistols in his father's desk drawer. He'd never do it, but he does have a _very_ vivid imagination and suicidal thoughts just happen to sneak into his mind every now and then.

As the year progresses, Finn remains pals with Karofsky and Azimio. He even begins hanging out with the cheerios and surrounding himself with girls, as any tall, popular quarterback "should". Quinn even forgives Finn, Karofsky, and Azimio.

However Puck befriends the unexpected. Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina. Of course, Quinn hangs out in that clique, so I guess you could say Noah Puckerman befriended her too. That might be a stretch though.

Mercedes is in all of Puck's classes, and they flirt effortlessly, but it means nothing to either of them. Mercedes is beautiful, smart, sweet, and mature. She seems to like Puck because, well, he _is_ pretty charming. Of course, Puck falls for her, but then he quickly snaps out of it when he realizes that it's only a crush and he should waste no time on her when Quinn's single and so attractive it's painful. Mercedes snaps out of her crush when she realizes just how hopelessly devoted Puck is to Quinn. They remain close friends though.

The year progresses like you wouldn't believe. Quinn and Puck tease around each other. Whether it's bumping into each other or eating lunch with their friends, they couldn't be more awkward. The sexual tension is just ridiculous.

Around Christmas, WMPS runs what is called the holiday bazaar. Basically, vendors from around the area come to the school and sell their goods to the students so that the students can get their holiday shopping done in one day at school. The seniors run the bake sale and raffle ticket sales to raise money for their gift that they give to the school at the end of the year. Apparently, Mrs. Hollis, the science teacher who makes the schedules that tell which senior what duty they're on doesn't hate Puck. She assigns him to work the raffle table with Quinn fourth period and the gift wrapping station eighth and ninth periods. And he's on shopper-assistance duty while Quinn's got a free period.

As they're selling raffle tickets, they're smiling at one another and Puck can't help but crack a few jokes about how good Quinn is at selling tickets. "It must be the saleswoman blood she inherited from her mother", they joke. They have a lot of fun together, selling raffle tickets. And Puck is just ecstatic that he's been able to make her laugh and smile. Later, they eat lunch together and this isn't just an ordinary lunch. It's one that leaves it's mark on his memory.

They take seats in the hallway at an empty table, because the lunch room is in use by the holiday bazaar. This is the only time they've been able to get away from the raffle table to take their lunch break, so they're alone. Yes, alone. As in, just them. He remembers laughing at how cute she is when she exclaims how good her soup is. She looks like she's exploding with happiness or something. But that's not the part that leaves him breathless. It's when he says "Welp, this is awkward." As he takes a bite from his apple, thinking that they're still not friends. The expression on her face of confusion when she replies simply "Why?" is what gets him. She of all people should know that he thinks she hates him.

The year progresses as it should, as everyone expects. There's nothing in the year that stands out other than the holiday bazaar. That day's flirting makes him feel good. Eventually they get back into their routine of the odd love-hate relationship they share. The proper word for what they are is acquaintances, because they never really become friends.

Graduation at WMPS, with a graduating class of 29 students, is a big deal. Dr. Wilson takes great pride in the ceremony and it being her last year before retirement, this one has to be perfect. Graduation isn't what really matters though. It's the after party. It's held at a local country club, paid for by the parents and some trustees. During the last dance is when our hero, Puck, gathers the courage to ask Quinn what he's needed to ask her all year. He pushes through the crowd of cheerleaders swarming around him and Finn and put his mouth near her ear so only they can hear him.

"Quinn, I need to ask you something." He says, unsureness in his voice.

"What?"

There's cheerleaders, their friends, their parents, and school faculty around, so he asks in a hushed, embarrassed tone, "Can we talk about it somewhere alone? Like on the phone or facebook?"

But she's Quinn flippin' Fabray. She has to her have her way or no way. "No. Just ask me here."

With a sigh of defeat he looks her in the eyes "Are you still mad about last year?"

"_Jesus, can he just stop?" _she thinks to herself, mentally rolling her eyes. "Well, yeah, kinda. It's just something I don't think I'll ever get over."

Unsatisfied, he gives her a bro-hug (she gives everyone else normal hugs but he's different and won't allow herself to be wrapped up in his arms) and says goodbye, even though they're both going to be attending Ohio State and there is a large possibility that they will see each other on campus.

Laying in bed that night, he decides that one day he'll figure out a way to make everything between them right. "_Even if it takes my last breath_" he concludes before falling asleep.


	5. The Email

The summer after senior year is when he begins to unravel like a ball of yarn being pushed down a flight of stairs. Finally the gnawing thought of Quinn eats away at Puck's sanity until he can't take it anymore. He finally musters the courage he can to sit down at the computer and pour his soul out to her in an email. Because he's been confiding in Artie, he cc's him on it to show him what he's done. The email reads:

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><p>Hey, Quinn,<p>

First off, I'm like trembling while I type because I'm ridiculously afraid of your reaction to this email. So yeah, you can either read the rest of this email or you can delete it. I don't care, it's your choice. Scroll down to see an idiot bare their soul to you. I'm not kidding. I really am going to say the stupidest things I may ever say below.

If you're actually scrolling down to read what I have to say...um, holy mother of god, that's awesome for me.

-I feel like this shouldn't be a secret or a surprise to you, cuz well, I like you. Like like. I've liked you since spring of 2010. That facebook like thing that says any crush that lasts more than four months is true love is a total mind-fucker cuz it always makes me think of you and how I've been hung up on you since last year. (By the way,  
>where the hell's the italics button? That would really help me emphasize how much I like like you)<p>

-So now that you know that, you should also know that that is why I act the way I act around you. I'm usually mildly immature, but when I'm nervous I get insanely immature. And insane immaturity leads to me saying things that I regret more than anything.

-Basically, I revert to the exact same coping methods every guy does, which is making fun of the person I like. Which is entirely why I was so god damn awful to you last year.

-I'm killing myself over that. Not literally, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have suicidal thoughts after the drawing. The other night my sister was talking about badass things she did when she was in school and my mom brought up the drawing and I nearly freaked out. I was so close to telling her to shut the fuck up and then running as far away as I could.

-I'm way more than sorry about that. Everyone assumed that when I was on vacation right after the drawing, I was having a good time and not caring or feeling sorry at all, but being totally honest, I was miserable. I stayed in my hotel room most of the time, writing really depressing songs about how I felt.

-Lately I've been lying to myself. Telling myself that you care about me as a friend. One of my friends says that you do, but I really doubt that. She's just an optimist and understands that I like you so much it hurts. (Here's another example of when I need the god damn italics button. Seriously, why does AOL not have one? O_o)

-I really need you to tell me that our "friendship" is over. That you don't and won't ever care about me. I think it'll help me move on. It's been well over a year and you're still on my mind. If you hate me, say you do. If you don't, say you don't. I don't take hints well. I need you to say explicitly "Puck, I hate you. You were such a dick, and I just can't ever be your friend because I just hate you for what you did." if that's what you feel.

-If you're going to shut me down, don't do it like Deepak or that kid you texted me about a while back. I remember sitting on my back porch, texting you, and you randomly told me about some guy who said he loved you and you asked me what to do. I gave you the same advice that I'll give you now: Say what you need to say. (I know you hate John Mayer, but c'mon. That's really good advice). Don't say "That's really sweet, but I'm not interested. I'm sorry." That might kill me upon hearing or  
>reading it.<p>

-People (No names. I'm done gossiping. That crap's for cowards anyways) say you have mood swings and are kinda bitchy, but I actually don't mind. I never minded. But then again, I only spend like 40 minutes with you per day during the school year. Besides, I like a challenge.

-The fact that I'm up at 2:31 AM, pouring my soul into an email, should tell you just how much I needed to tell you how I feel.

-I really really like you. (If I knew where the italics button was that would be in italics). I like you so much it hurts. I'm not kidding. Ask Artie. He'll tell you how much I text him about you and about the crazy things I say about you. "She's so fucking cute." (I'm embarrassed, but yeah, I said that)

-Your mom terrifies me. She hates me more than you do and I didn't think that was possible.

-I should wrap this up soon, so I don't break the internet.

-I like everything about you. I like your smile. Your laugh. (Which by the way woke me up a few times when we were on the bus to New York) Your eyes.

-I'm so ridiculously sorry about that drawing. I just want your forgiveness. (and you to feel the same way about me, but I know that's never gonna happen so...)

Anyways, if you read this entire thing, thanks. I really just needed to say all that. And I CCed Artie because he's the one who's been helping me out recently because lately I've been more stressed about you than usual. I thought they'd like to see what me saying what I need to say looks like. Hope you don't hate me. (Don't hear that everyday, do ya?) Have a great summer. See you at school.

PUCK

* * *

><p>He reads the email several times, checking his grammar, checking his phrasing, checking his sanity. He's Noah freakin' Puckerman. He doesn't spill his soul out for everyone to see. Well, not until now. He's nervous. But you would be too if you'd just said everything you've bottled up for two years into an email.<p>

_**Note from the author- All of the following has actually happened to me personally and I girl I used to like. It made for some great drama. However, my heart got broken, seeing as she rejected me after I sent her this email. I'll be writing to chapter sixes. It will be sort of like those old "choose your ending" books. There will be a happy ending and there will be a version of what actually happened in my life. Stay tuned.**_


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